A dreamer?

I am a dreamer.

I have dreamt of love, of peace

Of a cozy winter night's kiss.

I have dreamt of the unknown

Of the worst, of the horrors yet to be known.

I have dreamt of flowery fields

Of hope, of pain and of grief.

I have dreamt of all and everything

Of everything and all at once.

I dream of feeling the soil while being buried,

Of the wind beneath my wings as I fly,

I dream.

For everything beautiful,

Experienced by me

I realised, was just a dream.

Am I awake or am I asleep?

Will I ever live the reality,

Or just pass away with these dreams?

Will it hurt not to live or will I be glad just to dream?

Now I ask myself out of pure concern,

Am I a dreamer?

For I see no dreams now, but the darkness ahead.

Where will I head to, where will I reach?

It's just another dead end.

Now for me,

as if in a dream,

I am pretending to be,

just another Dreamer as I once used to be.

---

I wrote this a while ago and I realised I keep going back to read it over and over. Maybe it is because, that was the last time I wrote something from my heart or maybe because I am still wondering whether the dreamer is alive or burried under the blankets of reality.

Thought it was good enough to post and also that maybe once I'm done with these exhausting tests, I will start dreaming again.

For now I crave for those dreams more than ever before,

and more than ever before is my need to be heard and loved.

But the latter seems like a far fetched dream,

and hence writing is the only way to satisfy what I need.

~del